Can Your Romance Survive Nursing School? | Nursing Schools

Are you ready for nursing school? Nursing school is one of the most difficult courses of study to go through. The two pathways to becoming a Registered Nurse-RN-are through a four-year university bachelors program or a two-year associate's degree. If the student's goal is to obtain a masters or become a nurse practitioner, it is best to enroll in a four-year program. The four-year program includes additional science and nursing management courses that a two-year associates program does not require. For those who may think they are saving money by going through an associate program, they are not. After a person graduates from a two-year college and continues on to obtain a bachelors, it will cost on the average of $15,000.00 dollars. This article will focus on the associate program aspect of nursing school. Nursing is a calling and if you have chosen nursing because it is steady work and a steady paycheck, that is the wrong reasons to go into nursing. Nursing also means you will handling urine, bloody secretions, stool or "poop", and will be exposed to sickening odors. For example if you get sick at any of the following-you need to rethink if nursing is for you.

Injecting a 1 inch intramuscular needle with 4 mL of medication into the ventrogluteal site
Removing an IV from a patient who is on heparin and the blood keeps soaking through the pressure gauze
The sight of seeing 4th degree necrotic pressures sores that expose deep muscle and bone and the resulting rotting flesh odors that will turn your stomach
Handling blood tinged sputum from patients with chronic lung diseases
Performing sterile dressing changes requiring packing fresh ostomy wounds
Pouring bloody drainage out of Jackson-Pratt and Hemovac surgery drains into measuring cylinders
Getting a stool sample from smelly diarrhea
Cleaning tarry, sticky fecal matter off an elderly bed bound patient who has had a bowel movement in bed.

If a person is accepted into a nursing program, it will become a full-time job. The student will spend on the average of 30 to 40 hours of week in school, clinical's and studying. If a future nursing student still thinks they will be able to continue working a 40 hour a week job and take care of family in additional to school, they will end up physically and mental burned out and sick. The average medical surgical nursing textbook is 2 1/2 inches thick, has about 1900 pages and small print. The student will be reading on the average of about 120 pages every four weeks, plus will have reading from other nursing books and homework. The reading and homework is time-consuming because of the difficultly of the material.

Another aspect of nursing school is the student needs to evaluate their current romantic relationship. Divorces and relationship break ups are common with nursing school students. A student's romantic relationship needs to be based on a solid foundation and able to adapt to the change that nursing school creates in order to survive. As a nursing student goes through a nursing program, they evolve into a more assured, assertive and independent person. The student will learn and utilize critical thinking, become a patient advocate and will develop a voice and tell it like it is. If the student is married, engaged or involved with a needy and insecure significant other-SO, the relationship will in all likely hood not last.

A needy and insecure person who needs a lot of attention will feel threatened by the amount of time required for school, clinical's and studying along with the students personality change. The nursing student may be faced with the SO cheating on them, leaving them for another person, demanding the student quit or sabotaging the student's educational process with threats and passive aggressive behaviors. For example, the SO says things to shame you into looking like a selfish parent who is neglecting the children and the SO. The SO may even go as far as using the children as ploys in convincing the student's family and in-laws that the student needs to quit school and devote their time and life to being a loving spouse and good parent.

Another aspect of nursing is that bullying and horizontal hostility is common in the hospital workplace and it starts in nursing school. For more information read Kathleen Bartholomew's book-Ending Nurse to Nurse Hostility; Why Nurses Eat Their Young. There are those nursing instructors in the classroom and in the clinical setting, who humiliate and demoralize the student in front of others and the patients. These instructors tend to get away with their bullying year after year because depending upon the nursing school, the department protects them. The bully instructor knows this, and has their clever and subtle methods to make it clear that the student is expected to sit down, shut up, and do not question what is taught and do not complain, or they will find a way to fail you. As a result nursing students are intimidated to keep quiet and the bullying continues. The following are a few examples of what the author of this article has heard in the classroom and clinical setting:

Do you know how unintelligible you sound?
I am not going to answer that question, you need to critically think.
I am so tired of this shit, do you know how frustrating you are making me.
You need to let me know what you're other clinical instructors have said about your performance so I can help you improve.
Are you telling me that your other clinical instructors never said you were this nervous and incompetent? I don't think you're telling me the truth.
If you would listen better than you would have gotten a better score on the test.
That is stupid question; even your classmates are rolling their eyes.
I know more than all of you-so don't even think about lying to me.
Whatever your problem is, mine is ten times worse, so I don't need to hear about it!
I will make sure you never work in this hospital, you have made me (the instructor) look so bad this rotation.
Nursing is not for cry babies, and if you complain to your floor manager, you will find yourself out of a job.

A new nursing school graduate's first job will likely be on a hospital critical care unit taking care of anywhere from 4 to 6 patients. If the hospital has a Magnet rating, the new nurse will probably have no more than four patients. During the orientation period, the preceptor may be great or be a bully who ignores and or puts down the new hire regardless of how well they perform. If the new hire should complain to the floor manager, the bully and his or her cronies may retaliate. If a new hire does end up in a job where the coworkers do get along, consider it a blessing.

Many times, the first year of a nursing job is the hardest as it can take that long to become accustom to the hectic work load. Some new nurses have no problem adjusting and others do. The first year is where the new nurse decides if they are going to stay with nursing or leave. That is one of the reasons there is a high turnover, and nursing shortage. The stress alone can cause a new nurse to turn to alcohol and drugs for the first time in their lives. Unlike being in nursing school where the student has the protection of a clinical instructor, in the workplace a nurse is on their own and responsible for everything that happens in their patient care. And if the nurse is working three to four straight 12 hour shifts and is tired, mistakes start to happen. And depending upon the mistakes it can cost a new hire their job or land them in a lawsuit. This is why new hires need to have their own malpractice insurance. The rumor about if the nurse has their own malpractice insurance the more likely they will get sued is not true. If the nursing student can survive schooling and the first year on the job, they should have a good career. Remember, nursing is a calling and when called the nurse has to perform and excel. The author recommends that all nursing students and working nurses read Kathleen Bartholomew's book, Ending Nurse to Nurse Hostility--Why Nurses Eat Their Young.